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Monday, March 22nd, 2004

Time:6:29 pm.
Mood: tired.
ugh i'm tired today... and cold... i've been cold all day. I'm wearing a shirt and a sweatshirt... and i'm kinda chilly ... well i'm warming up now but still.

*sigh*... ya i've been draggin' my ass allll day ... and i had a nap too :P .. i had a nap yesterday as well! ya yesterday i set my watch ... it goes off after 20 mins ... i fall back asleep for almost an hour, until someone knocks on my door :P

ahhh frickin' physics test in... an hour and a half... annnnd i really haven't done much to prepare *sigh*

buttt on a good note, the musical was awesome all three performances! it was really nice to just set aside the time last week and everynight be "forced" to do nothing because i had to be at the theatre for performances and dress rehearsals. I'm glad i was involved with it (being in the crew). Kinda cool today to overhear all these people talking about how they thought it was funny or enjoyed it and what not. :)

but anyway ... i "suppppose" i should be doing physics ... ohhh shit :P...

gotta go
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Tuesday, March 16th, 2004

Time:11:28 am.
Mood: rushed.
Oh snap ... i just heard on the radio that travis from blink 182 broke his foot!

guess tha makes it kinda hard to play the drums... and i suppose that'll slow down there tour plans... craziness... that's gotta suck.

ah study ... physics... ah..
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Friday, January 9th, 2004

Time:10:14 pm.
Mood: jubilant.
awwww yessss... soo rewarding when you whip out the ol' guitar (pronounce like geee-tar) ... and actually are able to learn something that sounds remotely like a song... awww yesss :) ...

sooo i was "playing" my guitar tonight... and i decided to check out red hot chili pepper's tabs.. annnd i was actually able to learn a reasonable faxcimally of Otherside... soo i'm very pleased with myself... ha ha :P

i'll add that to my growing repetoir ... of ... the main repetitive part of Brainstew (greenday)... part of the intro to Dammit (blink 182)... annnd i really can't play much...awww.. :P ...

nooo i'm pleased soo far.. :)... goood stuff... except my guitar always seems to be out of tune...evvven when i've just tuned it... *shakes head*.. eyyy

annnywhooo... night night... maybe i'll go do someother random non-working stuff... cauuuse i'm not really "feelin'" the workin' tonight :P

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Thursday, January 8th, 2004

Time:4:03 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
there's something that just grabs me about looking out into falling snow... i dunno... i have this memory of being out at night and watching big fat snowflakes (like the kind that are falling outside my window right now) falling in the light of a streetlamp ... i was out walking my dog with my sister... this was like... years ago... at christmas time... and my silly dog ripped a hole in the hood of a sweatshirt i'd just gotten for christmas... ha ha... ooh the memories :P...

but ya ... crazy weather today ... i've had to go in and out so many times... it was FRICKIN" freezing this morning when i went out to my first class... and gradually it got warmer throughout the day... but now its snowing... ha ha...and cause of the wind blowing up and over my rez, at times the snowflakes seem to be falling UP right beside the building :P

ohhh good times... wore the touque my sister gave me for christmas for the first time today ... (i hadn't worn it yet because of piercing my ear and it kinda hurting to push directly on the earring... buuut i braved it today :P... not too bad now)... [yes sam i did pierce my ear... crazy indeed]

annnyhooo... its funny how fast school is picking up pace.. the first like... 2-3 days i had tons of spare time... just haaangin' out ... and i still am not tooo busy .. but already the projects and assignments are being announced... aww :P

D'yar! the snowing has basically stopped already ... *shakes fist*... annnd ya ... i was saying before how it was sooo hot in rez when i first got back... ya... no .. now its pretty cold actually :P... i may have to turn on the ol' heater...

*shrug*... annnywhooo...

maybe i'll do a little text reading ... oook then :)...
its good to hear from friends now and again *smile* even just the postings and stuff... is good :)

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Sunday, January 4th, 2004

Time:11:21 pm.
Mood: tired.
eyyyy ... back in rez... just unpacked all my shit here... uhhgg.. i'm tired... and i don't really feel like starting to learn again tomorrow... and it is toooo damn hot in here... woo ...

but annnyway... sooo my mom's internet at home was down for most of the last week ... soo i haven't really said anything since christmas.... annd i had alot to say earlier ... because i'm feeling very nostagic... just coming back and leaving the holidays and family and a bunch of friends behind... and i suppose the retro music on the radio doesn't help :P ... but now i'm getting tired so i don't feel like writing too much ...

i ... eyy... i'm just thinking about all the people... all the friends... all the times flown by .... i feel like i miss everyone tonight... and i suppose i'm lucky cause i can see a bunch the people soon that all go to mac... but i dunno ... it just feels like everyone is gone tonight... and i guess it'll be good to be back soon ... i dunno ...

i had a good time on the holidays... saw soo many faces i havn't seen in quite a while ... lots of some ... only a few minutes of others. soo good to hang out with matt again, and saw nishat... and my cousins ... and amanda... it was good to see amanda again. tough to find a new place when a friendship changes... a relationship changes... but i missed seeing her, especially on the holidays... i guess old surrounds bring back memories ... or the idle mind given time to ponder recalls memories... i mean.. she's a cool person and a good friend... but its still hard ... things being different ... anyway... it was good to "shoot the breeze" with all different people...

sooo hot in here... bahhh... they turned on the flipping heat in everyone's rooms and so it was boiling in here when i first came in... still too hot!

ahhh getting late... 8:30 class tomorrow... ohh not fun :P .. but i suppose it would be too early no matter what time my first class was, compared to holidays.

sooo off to bed
night night
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Sunday, December 28th, 2003

Time:10:40 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
Soooo the holidays are flying by.... which is not cool in that there is less of them left now ... but i've definitely been enjoying the holidays :) ... goood times :)

Christmas was very merry here :) ... i had a good day. We did the usual things, kept our traditions this year... got lots of cool stuff! i got an ELECTRIC GUITAR!!! which is AWESOME ... cause i've been really excited about that and i was hoping my parents would get it! YAAAY! goood stuff... and i think i actually figured out how to tune it today... ha ha goood stuff!

annnnd i got lots of other nifty stuff... some cds (still have to go out and return/get some with gift money), and James Bond DVD's annnnnd ... oh.. my mommy .. oooh so randomly... bought me a fishtank thingy ... that bubbles from the bottom and you put these plastic fish it it and what not and the bubbles make them bob around ... yaaa :P ... for my rez room... ha ha... that was definitely a surprise! but ya ... so it was a good christmas day.

The rest of the holidays have been lots of fun too! Before christmas i spent a few lazy days with family and just cleaning and hanging around the house and wrapping and stuff, which was good. Andddd the last two days i've been hanging out with my friend NISHAT! who used to live like 2 min from me but moved to michigan in gr. 11 ... sooo that's been fun. Hoooly that guy is funny... a frickin' barrel of monkies... ha ha ... just so random and crazy at times. Matt was here yesterday and the 3 of us were playing risk and then we were just laughing sooo hard at like 1am. goood times :)

sooo now its a few more days of fun to come i hope. today was just gettin' some stuff done but new years eve is coming! :)

I'm glad i got out yesterday to see Darin. A few of us visited him where he is now in Hamilton. He seems to be improving from the last time i saw him, which is good.

annnywhoo... i think i'll read my novel now, its gettin' exciting... oooor maybe play with my guitar *grin*

i hope i get to see some of the other friends that i havn't seen in a while. I've seen some of them so far on the holidays but havn't run into others yet. hmmm

well take it easy
- night
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Wednesday, December 24th, 2003

Time:9:58 am.
Mood: thoughtful.
sooo last night i went to mama mia with my family ... mom/dad/ellen/I went downtown in the rain to the Royal Alexandra theatre [which is a very cool, intimate theatre... very classy and much smaller than other theatres i've been to] ... and we saw the play ... i wasn't sure what i'd think of it because you alllwwways here the commercials where they sing some of the songs and i kinda grown when those commercials come on ... but when i was actually there it was pretty good....

all the actor/actresses had little microphone headpieces i guess... you didn't really notice them except that the sound was grreeeat ... it was very loud ... and lots of instruments and yet you could hear the people singing and talking very clearly! And virtually the whole story was told through the songs. It was pretty funny too. I was struck at some points by how it wasn't a very traditional musical. The cast was very young, and the set was very cool [it rotated and stuff so they could change it during the acts] and there were funny parts and stuff...

sooo it was pretty good i'd say. Its funny though...as we were leaving it felt so traditional ... cause we were leaving a theatre ... and the staircase we took down was small and there were these old black&white pictures on the wall and then we left the building into this ally that that look like something out of a movie set... with old brick walls and rod-iron firestairs ... and it was raining and alll... it was kinda crazy!

sooo that was last night. i was feeling very nostalgic earlier in the day yesterday. I dunno .. just something about christmas time... and i went to the mall with my mom to pick up somethings and i was just struck by all the people there... and i couldn't help just standing back and looking at all these people wandering around. Young people, middle aged people... young dad's with babies, mom's with teenagers... lots of people everywhere... alll hustling and busling...

maybe i've been watching too many movies lately or something.. but i was really lost in thinking about people and what not... thinking about girls and youth... *shrug* .. friends..

the holiday season is a bit of a whirlwind at times... so much going on. good stuff though... ooo and i've already gotten some good stuff from aunts and uncles :P ... stuff i asked for! :)

annywho... gots to go
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Thursday, December 18th, 2003

Time:1:59 pm.
Mood: relaxed.
awwwwww yes... living the highlife with exams done :)

soooo good... i really haven't done much today ... and i'll probably eat lunch and watch a movie in a little while ... reaalll productive like ... ha ha ...yeesss indeed :)

its sad that not everyone is done... but they should be done after today i think... soo that's good :) ... chrismas is coming ... exxxciting... :)

just hung around yesterday too ... decorated the house with my sister... that was good times... she's fun :) ... just laughin' and jokin' ... then went out and wandered a bit at the mall in the late evening ...

awww yes... the holidays are grand... sooo many movies to watch :) ... good times!

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Monday, December 15th, 2003

Time:8:23 pm.
Mood: excited.

Boo YA!... Life is good :P

Hard to believe i've been studying/preparing-for/writing exams for the last 16 days or so ... woooooa... sounds long that way ... sounds much longer than 2 weeks :P ... but even that's a while...

but YA... hang out in rez for one more night... and then home for HOLIDAY EXCITEMENT!!! :)

gooood times... can't wait... family, friends, laugher, fun and goood times :) ...

Booo Ya
Dinner time
- later
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Tuesday, December 9th, 2003

Time:2:34 pm.
Mood:Attempting to Focus.
ok... this is just short cause i'm studying ... but i'm listening to the radio ... and i listen to the radio everyday ... and it seems.. EVVVERRY day there is some "new" news about Ozzy Osbourne... how does this guy constantly stay in the news!?...

last week or something his wife was admitting to having had an affair... then the next day Ozzy was admitting to be sexually abused as a child... then yesterday they were reporting that Ozzy had fired his Pharmasist and was blaming him for his horrible performance at singing "Take me out to the ball game" at the cubs game this year "cause he was too drugged up on meds. " ... and then TODAY .. Ozzy's back in the news because supposedly he was in an ATV accident and broke a rib, his collarbone and some vertabrea ... but i mean come on.. some of these confessions are surely to promote a new book or something that he/his wife are putting out .. but still... everyday.. and last year or two they had that reality tv show about their family ... geess .. they're really trying to live in the spotlight... eyyy ... i suppose the accident was probably nooot for publicity though... but who knows :P ... ozzy's quite strange soo.. who knows ...

anyway... i guess that's all ..
- later
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Friday, November 28th, 2003

Time:3:41 pm.
Mood: tired.
Woooow is it rainy outside today ... oooh my ... mcmaster is practically a swimming pool... just one big lake out there ...

its soooo rainy out there... when i was walking to class, i think i saw someone drowning in a puddle ... the university is going to have to start posting lifeguards around campus soon...

geees... but seriously ... entire parts of the sidewalk are underwater.. they've laid down wooden skids at parts for people to get across the puddles... i mean these are like ankle deep puddles.... geees... and forget leaving the path.. the grass is like a swamp in most places except the occasional little hill..

eyyy yii yiii... it is a greeeey day out there... everything is monochrome... its like watching life on a black and white tv ... ha ha.. oohhh dear... :P ...

none the less.. time to start the friday night studying ... Boooo YA... good times...

must ... focus... exams... approaching... :P

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Sunday, November 23rd, 2003

Time:10:18 am.
Mood: content.
soooo yesterday i played the championship game for the intermural soccer team i've been playing on ... it was the B-level finals of the B-league :P ... annnd... well we came out as the B-team because we lost :(... but it was a fun time and an exciting game... it was on a nicer field than we normally play on ... but it was kinda cold out though, until you got playing...

annnyway... so then last night i watched pulp fiction... good movie... quite entertaining ... and you really have to wait until the end to see how it all ties together... and in the end its kinda about life and god and the chances we take and the results of our actions. cool movie

sooo i was thinkin' this morning about how much of our life we spend sleeping ... i mean .. i'm 18 .. and lets assume i've slept an average 7 or 8 hours a day for my whole life... so 8 hours is a 1/3 of everyday ... so that means i've slept a 1/3 of my life... which means i've slept for about 5 - 6 years already... wow... that's so serious sleepin' ... :P ... but hey .. that's what it takes i guess to stay awake for the other 12 years... :) ... better make the most of our time i guess :)

catch ya later
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Friday, November 21st, 2003

Time:4:28 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
*siggghhh*... it was soo nice out today ... its crazy how much the weather fluxtuates but hey i'm enjoyin' it...

eyy... but as i look out my window at *checks time* 4:30 p.m. the sun is quickly falling towards the horizon... *sigh*... the shadows were already getting long at 3:00 when i went to LUNCH with spaky ... so the sun is setting within two hours of eating lunch... tsk tsk... hopefully it just doesn't get to the point of setting before i eat lunch...

none the less... one thing that's kinda cool about living up here in the stratusphere... on the 9th floor... and based on the fact that i look out over a forest (which is cool in itself) ... but i also look in the direction of the setting sun... so i can see it slip over the horizon anynight that i'm home when it happens... cool cool... i used to watch the sunsets sometimes when i had a cottage but when you live in the city, it just kinda disappears behind the houses at somepoint... its cool to actually watch it get to the horizon :) ...

annnyway... back to programming ..
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Wednesday, November 19th, 2003

Time:5:02 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
so last night ... i had a dream... another dream...

this dream wasn't one of those where the location changed like crazy... i was just.. well .. in my house... the family room to be exact... and i was pissed off about something.. and so i wrote a song.. but on big piece of chart paper... i don't think it was a very long song though... ha ha... and then some other stuff happened .. i don't remember that part...

but then it was later in the day .. i walked back into the living room and i sat down ... with MY guitar (cause i had one) and proceeded to start trying to play my song on guitar... and my mom walked in and said she'd read my song and it sounded... what did she say?... umm... grusome.. or angry or something... and i was all like "well that's cause i wrote it when i was angry" ... and spaky stopped in briefly .. and then he left to go back to practising the bass... 'cause he was learning to play the bass again... and ya ... :)

sooo that was my dream ... :P .. maybe if i get a guitar for christmas ... then i can say its "a dream come true"... ha ha :P .. cause i was dreaming about playing guitar... get it?.. ha ha do ya?... never mind ...

today's been pretty good though... i got up and went for a run with a friend ... except for that i kinda have/had a headache this afternoon which is what prompted my nap ... none the less... an ok day :) ..

:P ... but life's not all having naps and dreaming about guitars though... i better do some work ... and i have class soon... Yayyy economics.. :P

bye .. zzzzz... wait no... *goes to work* :P
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Saturday, November 15th, 2003

Time:5:42 pm.
Mood: energetic.
Awwwww... McMaster JUST lost the football game ... booo ... they were SOO close to winning .. the winner of this game goes on to the canadian university finals... mac already won all of ontario, ... but this is the 4th year in a row they have lost out at THIS game... ahhh... *shakes head* ...

i haven't been paying too much attention to football, but mac has a really great team ... i was just eating in the common's and the game was on so i started watching and then on my floor when i came back... and they were doing awesome... the backup quarterback Adam Archabald, who lives ON MY FLOOR (!!!) was in the game and he was awesome too (he must be almost 7 feet tall or something... really tall!)... and it came down to the end and they were driving... only down by 4 ... second last play he ALMOST threw for a touchdown... but it was tipped... and then the last play with 4 seconds left the laval guy blocked the reciever... *sigh*... it was exciting to watch...

anywhooo... back to work for a bit ... mom and dad are going to take me to dinner... they were actually at the game...

- later
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Friday, November 14th, 2003

Time:10:57 pm.
Mood: tired.
bahh ... so i just had the ol' chem test... yaaa that kinda sucked...

real craptastic it was... suppose that's what i get for committing almost no time to preparing for it and for spending half the time i did spend reading about stuff that wasn't actually onnnn the test... reallll smart...

annyway... i'm kinda tired now ... and i don't really feel like complaining about it any more ... i did ... now i'm just too drained... *sigh*... whatever ... a chemistry guess-a-thon.. what's done is done...

now i'm done
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Time:3:01 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
so i was just sending an email to my sister... and i was bitching about the white stripes ... but i thought it was something everyone should hear... so i've pasted it hear too.. ha ha ...

you know what song is pissing me off ?!... the white stripes ... fuckin' "hardest button to button"... i don't know ... i suppose sometimes its not soo bad... but just lately i do NOT want to hear it ... perhaps because its a freakin' repetitive song (the drums and stuff) and they play it ovvvvvvver and over on the edge... like in the time i listen to the radio (and mind you i'm not in all do nor do i always have the radio on ...) they'll play that song like 4 times or something ... so how many times in total do they play that damn song?!! ... like this morning... thankfully i woke up to tragically hip i think... or was it REM ... i dunno ... one of those.. anyway .. then they talk a minute... next song they play... "hardest button to button" ... so i hop up and switch off the radio as soon as i hear the " duh duh.. duh duh ... duh duh.. etc etc etc " of the drums... and i'm out of bed... then i just got back from class now .. (had a chem lab this morning .. and i missed chem class because i left the lab late [and ate lunch]... and then had physics and calc. ... )... and then... this being what prompted this rant... ... ... i just sat down at the computer... and i look at my radio....

*looks at radio* .... "gueess i'll turn on the radio" ... *talks to self* ... "but damn it .. if i turn it on they're going to be playing the 'hardest button to button' ... " ..... *sigh*... .*turns on the radio anyway..*... and DAMN ... wouldn't ya know it ... they were playing that fuckin' song ...
"the hardest button to button ...uh oh ... the hardest button to button ... uh oh ... *drums* ... duh duh duh... duh duh duh .. duh duh duh duh duh duh duh .... " ...
bahh.. maybe i really don't want to hear it because i saw the music video that night i stopped in at home after going to the dentist ... was so luthargic.. so i decided to watch music... and they play a whole bunch of good stuff in the set ... but they also played that song, which was already starting to grate on me... but after seeing the video... uhhh ... i just picture it now when i hear it ... jack white looks so damn ugly in the video... *shivers* ... and the video just emphasizes the repetativeness of the song... bahhh.... shut up WHITE STRIPES>.... SHUT UP ... *exhale...* .. i feel better now :)

sooo ... now to studying for tonights chemistry test... and listening to goooood music :) ...

ah .. my glasses are bugging me too... but i won't complain about them... i've got to live with them and i don't want them to hate me...

:P later
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Thursday, November 13th, 2003

Subject:hard work and guitars
Time:2:26 pm.
Mood: lazy.
its kinda funny ... how i have soo much to do .. and yet it feels like i'm not doing anywork... and more like i'm always slacking off and not trying that hard..

this is such a busy time and i guess i did a bunch of work this week ... but it feels like i didn't .. i'm always just checking email or downloading music... not good .. :(

and my foot hurts... actually both of them are kinda hurting .. but mostly the left one... uug.. its annoying.. it just hurts kinda by the arch ... i guess cause my shoes aren't "supporting my feet" or something.. but its hurt for the last couple days now... *shakes fist*

Onnn another train of thought... I'd like to learn to play the guitar ... i've long thought playing guitar was super awesome... but i've never really thought i'd be able to ... but i'd like to try ... :)

soo my train of thought seems to have gone...
>i'd like to learn to play guitar
-> i need a guitar to learn to play
--> i should get one for christmas

<--Then i realized i don't know what i want and i have no idea how to buy a guitar or what i should get annnd.. well they're expensive...
-->sooo now i'm thinkin' ...maybe i should get my parents to rent me one or something ... for christmas (its all about using christmas.. ha ha) ... and then i could see if i'll actually use it and/or be able to learn .. and maybe i'll get some idea of what to look for in a guitar... with out throwing away lots of the ol' $$$ :P ...

but the point is ... i'd like a guitar... :) .. and hopefully i'll be able to defy my musical ineptitude and general inablility to do many things at once... and learn to play :)

although i don't exactly know howww i plan to learn to play .. still workin' on that point... since i don't really think its going to be convinient to take lessons and such... sooo i dunno ... whooo knows...

anyyway .. i've been messin' around on the internet for long enough.. so i'm going to do some chemistry cause i have a lab and a test tomorrow and doing work shouuuld make me feel less like a slacker...

here i gooo :)
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Saturday, November 8th, 2003

Time:6:48 pm.
Mood: exhausted.
uuuuuuuugh... talk about hard to wake up ... i just lay down for a 20 minute nap and slept an hour and 1/2 ... shoulda gotten up right away when my watch went off after 20 mins i guess... unnnnnnn.... feels like there is a weight around my neck ... limbs... so ... heavy ... :P ...

and wow is it dark... i was nearly dark when i layed down, at 5:30... so it feels like i just woke up in the middle of the night... i'm used to afternoon naps ... where atleast you can let the light stream in the window to wake you up if you aren't refreshed by the nap .. :P ... naa its black as night gets out there :P .. practically looks like its an eclipse out there...oh wait... that is happening... in like an hour and a half... ohhh ... *ba dun dun CHING (drum noise)* ...

ugh... time to wake up :P

i was just reading the comments on entries.. i appreciate that some people read my journal and make comments... it makes me smile to read what you've read... so thanks y'all... :) ... kinda lets me know that people are listening or that people care :) ... not that i live off comments or anything... but just its nice sometimes :) ...

anyyywhoo... 7pm and it feels like midnight... better get back to the ol' physics... soo slow brian .. urrr soo slow :P

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Monday, November 3rd, 2003

Time:4:46 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
today is so strange... i don't know how i feel ... its as if i'm all mellow and yet there are so many tiny underlying feelings .... its a strange day ...

i just came back to my room from a tutorial and ... well i really didn't feel like doing anything... i wasn't that i didn't want to work... i didn't really want to read a magazine or eat or go on the computer either... i just sat in the dark on my bed for like 5 minutes.. a foggy kinda half darkness with the grayness streaming in from the window...

i think today is kinda a low for 1st year engineering... every year 1 engineer had an essay due today by 5:00 and so i'm sure like half the engineers were up most of the night (ex. V and Spaky) and those that have the programming class this semester (ex. me) are feeling kinda overwelmed by the load of work they just dumped on us... the two programming assignments due in the next 2 weeks just seem like the last straw along with the 4 tests we already have in other courses... *sigh* ... i dunno ... shouldn't complain .. i mean i went to bed by 1 am... so i'm well off... but still.. its just a bit of a blah day ... maybe its that it was getting dark by 3:30 [or atleast that's when i noticed it]... or perhaps it is that half the campus is drowning in puddles and it is perpetually drizzling rain... i dunno ... or the leaves that cover the rest of the ground and are starting to leave the trees bare... although in some places they add a bit of colour...

speaking of colour... the grey sky seems to have made all the other colours dull today too... everything is just a dark shade... i dunno ... i guess i should stop my bitching now .. nag nag nag brian...

there are some nice things... i mean a friendly smile today goes a long way ... eating lunch with spaky and V, or saying hi to Vishi outside our rez really makes the day easier ...

we'll make it ... it just sometimes feels like i'm doin' ok along the way ... and other times feels like i've got it all wrong... i mean you set some priorities that you want to work on... and sometimes i've got my head up in the world and i feel like i'm living ... and other times your just passing the time... even sometimes doing the same things...

look not at what's wrong but what's right i guess... a rainy night makes it feel that much better to be warm... a lonely afternoon makes your friends that much more dear...

ahh blahh... more class soon.... time to look for a snack or something ...
bye for now
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